How We Got Kids - Part 2

Now, thankfully, Sarah Grace has a much calmer story. Just as special, though.

Thomas was about four months old and I was beginning to wonder if I would lose any baby weight. I had tried to nurse Thomas, but between all the spitting up and sensitive stomach junk, we resorted to formula. That is a story in and of itself and this is supposed to be about Sarah Grace.

Joshua and I were living with his parents, and somewhere around Thanksgiving, I started wondering if I could possibly be pregnant. Again, we were on birth control, and since I had never had a child before, I had no idea what my body was doing. I guess I should say I had never recovered from having had a baby, so I wasn't sure if I was still recovering or if I might be pregnant. I had no clue and so I was just rolling with the punches. Finally I gave in and took a home pregnancy test. And another. And another. And when we announced to all the parents that they would be grandparents again, my mother in law smiled and said, "I thought so." Stinker.

We were again amazed at how the Lord was just handing kids to us. If you had asked us, we wanted kids after a few years of marriage, and then we wanted them a couple years apart each. Did I mention Thomas was only four months old? As Christmas drew near, I began to really warm up to the idea of having them so close together. Not as though I had a choice, but it was occurring to me all the nifty things that my children would share with only a year between them. In fact, Sarah Grace's due date was six days after Thomas's first birthday!

The pregnancy went smoothly enough, and I left the preschool in February to spend the next six months with Thomas and preparing for my girl. Did I know she was a girl yet? I don't remember! We did find out with Sarah Grace...I somehow thought it was necessary to know if I needed pink or blue. Why this was important to me, I will never know. They told me it was a girl, so I started stocking up on pink blankets and sleepers and hunting for the perfect crib set for a little girl. All the time saying, they could be wrong. It could still be a boy. And if it is, he will be sleeping in a pink crib. Hmmm...

Welp, it was indeed a girl! Delivery was a breeze, especially compared to the nightmare delivery I had with Thomas. And since I don't want to scare first time pregnant ladies or girls who want to have children in the future, let's just leave it at that. She arrived with all her perfect toes and perfect fingers and a head of dark hair. Hard to believe I had a hand in a baby with hair as dark as hers was at birth.



We ooh-ed and ahh-ed over her for the first few days at the hospital, and again, we were discharged with instructions to go back to the doctor for a bili-rubin check in 24 hours. It seems we had another carrot kid on our hands. We went home, slept as soundly as possible with a newborn in the house, went back to the doctor, and lo and behold, her bili-rubins were to high. This time, however, they set us up with a home photo paddle. She looked like some sort of little alien creature with her body seemingly glowing and a 'tail' protruding from her jammies. Alas, her bili-rubin level continued to climb.




Round two, the home photo-therapy bed. Now our precious little daughter was strapped into her 'straight jacket' and cuddle time was limited again. She was supposed to be on the bed for 22 hours a day. So, we fed her in the bed and when she was finished, we would excitedly scoop her out for cuddle, er, I mean burp time and diaper change and then velcro her back in. The nurses reported that her bili-rubin levels were still climbing.



Next step, on to the hospital and the pediatric tanning ward. This time, however, I was a veteran and a bit rebellious. The same nurse who had attended Thomas was taking care of Sarah Grace, and when she brought me my box of surgical masks, I groaned and thanked her. I began the process of pulling out the wires in the mask so they would be better suited as diapers. I was the ever obedient Mommy by day, keeping up the incessant flow of surgical mask changing for my baby, but by night, I slipped diapers on her. From midnight until 7am, she wore Pampers. It aggravated the nursing staff, and I was difficult and roundly ignored them. I was justified in my rebellion (whatever that means) when our pediatrician announced her bili count was finally decreasing. She had hit some pretty high levels, kissing 30, and I am told that damage starts occurring about 32 or so.



Looking back, I should not have defied the surgical mask bit, but I did. I had this notion that if the Lord gave us this baby, He would take care of her. Which He did and does, but sometimes I forget that that even though He blesses us with 'fire', we must fan the flame to care for it. It surprises me how careless I can be, while at the same time feeling as if I am doing things just right.


We went home after about 2 1/2 days and Sarah Grace charmed us all. Her brother didn't take long to warm up to her, and soon they became playmates of sorts. She would sit in her bouncer, and he would bounce her, with us reminding him not to catapult her out of the thing! She was certainly a healthier baby, and I have had the pleasure of staying home with both of them since.


While Sarah Grace had an easier infancy, she was a much more solemn baby. She wasn't a fussy baby. Quiet the opposite really. She was a much more content baby, sleeping through the night early on and very watchful of her surroundings. She was slow to bestow that sweet smile on people, but happy in a quiet and subdued way.


She is still the most solemn of our children. Her quietness and stealth help her to get elbow deep in her mischief before we pick up on what she is doing. Oh, she can be the Chatty Cathy, and normally is these days, but she has a sneaky quality to her.

She is a precious part of our life, and not a day goes by that we don't comment on our Princess Grace. She is growing into a little girl now and out of her babyhood, and while I miss it, I am enjoying her emerging personality and nurturing nature.

Little Liz

We are creeping up on the six month milestone in Elizabeth's life. Time flies, let me tell you. I remember all to clearly when her sister and brother came to meet her for the first time at the hospital. They gave her a once over, and then essentially ignored her. Since then, they become more infatuated with her daily. They are constantly hugging and kissing her and making faces to get her to laugh. As I type, Sarah Grace is repeatedly making a quacking sound that has Elizabeth laughing out loud.



People told me that number three would be the hardest. In some way I completely agree. Joshua and I are outnumbered. Thomas and Sarah Grace have a very similar routine, but Elizabeth's is incredibly different. It takes longer to dress everyone, load everyone into a vehicle, feed everyone, bathe everyone, yadda, yadda, yadda. Those are the 'hard' parts. Here is the easy part. Elizabeth is the happiest baby. Even if she if fussing, a little attention goes a long way. She entertains herself quite well for her age, and in content to sit in a swing/bouncer/jumparoo or lay on a blanket as we go about our rowdy business. She laughs and smiles and coos and sings. She has a high pitched shriek of happiness that makes us cover our ears, but at least it's a joyful noise! She has her diva moments, but is overall a wonderful baby. A very social little creature.



At the not quite six month mark, Elizabeth can almost sit up by herself. She loves to taste everything. Food, books, toys, toes, you name it. She can get her little legs scrunched up under her and push up on her arms, though her bum still rests on her heels. She can squiggle and wiggle her way over to a toy or person and rolls around at will. She is getting quite an appetite and enjoys eating baby foods or sampling from our plates. She sleeps through the night (and has for about 4 months!), enjoys bath time, and does not like dirty diapers. She drools by the bucketful, so maybe we will see some tooth action soon. She loves any kind of music; piano, guitar, singing, radio, Sarah Grace & Thomas duets, and song birds. She adores the out of doors, and I place her in her bouncer as I hang laundry on the line or push the older ones in their swings. She is a cuddle-er and will curl into a little ball as she covers her eyes and enjoys her bottle. She is such a joyful baby girl and I am so very thankful she is a part of our family!

Cuz I Had Fun...

And when I find something that can entertain me for a brain dead hour, I feel the need to share it. After the kids went to bed last night, I was Stumbleing around and ran across MyHeritage. I wound up on the look-alike-meter playing to see who my kids looked more like. Then I found the celebrity look alike game, and had to check that out.

When I found all this stuff, I was really on my way to veg in front of the television or read a book, I hadn't decided yet as was really wishy-washy as to what I wanted to do with myself until bedtime. Since my plans were all completely un-constructive, I sat happily checking every member of my family and laughing or being stumped at the results.

In case you are wondering...
Elizabeth = 12% more like mom
Sarah Grace = 8% more like dad
Thomas = equally like mom and dad

And, more laughable to me was my celebrity match...96% like some person named Katherine Heigl. I have no idea who she is. Also on my list was 75% Judy Garland and 72% Kristin Kreuk. Sweet. I love the Wizard of Oz and am a Smallville fanatic...season premier Thursday, September 27. Where will I be? On my couch, remote in hand. *grin*

Friends, Bees, Cubbies, & Food

This last week has been such a busy one. So, this is one of those smorgasboard posts. Last week, we had a chance to go and visit Lora and her family in their new ALABAMA home. Welcome back to the South, ya'll! It was a hoot. While not everyone was feeling one hundred percent, it was comical to watch the five big kids play. The little girls did a lot of sleeping and eating and not so much interaction. Their day is coming. It was a 'peaceful' visit, given that there were seven kids under the age of three to navigate. I am just thrilled to have my friend so close to home again. I have determined in my head that our kids will like each other. It's not so much that they don't, it's just that when they all get together, Thomas and Sarah Grace play together, and Sam, Ian, and Adam play together. Oh, they occasionally cross each other's paths and laugh, but mostly, they stick to their little family clans. Granted, they have all visited together a whopping four or five times in their little lives, so maybe now that the Fannings are closer, this will work itself out. And if not, well, Lora and I will be forced to continue enjoying our sweet friendship while we lock our children outside.


On the way home, Thomas and I chatted back and forth about different things, but mostly practiced his Awana verses for the weekend. He missed the first couple of meetings, so he was behind the rest of his class. They had all already earned their vests, bags, and books. Thomas was working hard to memorize his verses so that he could earn his vest. All our hard work paid off. Sunday evening when I saw Thomas, he was sporting his new Cubbies vest. I can't tell you who was prouder...Thomas or Joshua and me! He strutted about and happily posed for pictures.


Monday morning Thomas disappeared into his room for a few minutes, and when he came out he was very proudly wearing his vest and his underwear. Nothing else. He ran over to me and started hollering his verses, drill sergeant style. 'GOD LOVED US AND SENT HIS SON!' He got a kick out of my laughing reaction and continued to strut his stuff. For the sake of not embarrassing him, I will post only the G-rated picture.

Although I don't think I ever got around to posting about it, the kids birthday party last month was a success. Lots of food, friends, and hilarious kids. Oh, and gifts. Next year, I think we are going to have a gift exchange rather than a gift pile on. Anyway, the kids did receive some really cool gifts. The Honeybee Hop would be among their favorites. When the box was first opened, the arm of the game was in two pieces, so a sword fight commenced. Then the bee made a toy just to play with. Finally, I had all the parts and the batteries in one place so I could assemble the thing. What followed was almost two hours of entertainment for the kids. It took a whole month for us to get it all together and working, but it was so worth it. They are thrilled with this game, though I must admit they are not great jumpers and they rather like when the bee hits their ankles and makes the wah-wah-wah sound of sad stillness. I highly recommend it for pre-schoolers!


Then there is little Elizabeth. She is trying her hardest to sit up! We get her on her little bum, spread her legs for balance and then she punks right over on her face. Until this weekend. She learned to put her arms in front of her and use them to help her maintain balance. She seemed quite proud of this accomplishment. I know I was proud of her! She just smiled and gazed adoringly at her brother and sister as they went about their usual busy-ness. After several minutes, her arms gave out and she plunked forward. She was tired and worn out, so her fall caused many tears. I grabbed her up and popped a bottle in her mouth and she assumed her feeding posture, which I think is adorable. I love the way she covers her eyes and shuts out the entire world as she s-l-o-w-l-y enjoys her meal. Precious moments, these are!

And there you have it. Life at our house might not be adrenaline pumping excitement, but every day holds sweet things, new accomplishments, and wonderful laughter. Who could ask for more?

How We Got Kids: Part 1

You see, not quite four years ago, when I got married, I had visions of a large family in our future. I knew that four or six (or more!) was the path I was looking toward. Joshua seemed okay with that idea, since he was an only child, and certainly the Grandmothers-to-be were well suited with this idea. So, we said our 'I Dos', or actually our 'I Wills', and walked back down the aisle, two having become one. Our wedding day was October 25, 2003. By Christmas, I was suspecting pregnancy, but felt sure I must be wrong, since I was on birth control pills.

In January, the doctor confirmed what more than one home pregnancy test had already revealed. On August 15 of 2004, Thomas came on the scene. He was doted on from day one. Our hearts swelled with pride when Dr. Bailey announced 'It's a boy!' (We didn't find out, so the phrase held lots of meaning!) Thomas was a hard baby from the start, though I didn't believe this at the time. Such a blessing that the Lord gave me a hard baby first, when I didn't know any different. I would ask 'Is he?' or simply nod yes in agreement when folks said he was a hard or fussy baby, but I was so star struck with his precious little self that I just wasn't really listening.


We were released from the hospital with instructions to feed him often, give him lots of sunlight, and bring him into the doctor's office in 24 hours for yet another bilirubin check. Thomas was jaundiced. We took home our carrot kid, and within those first 24 hours, we were back at the hospital with Thomas enjoying his own personal tanning bed. For three days longer, we stayed at that hospital, changing his 'diapers' every twenty minutes or so. They had him in surgical masks for diapers so that more of his skin was exposed to the lights. Boy, was I miserable. Between those frequent diapers and feeding him every two hours, I wasn't sleeping at all. But it passed, we went home with a healthy pink baby, and life grew to normalcy. Normalcy with an infant, that is.



After six weeks and a thousand visits to the doctor's office, Thomas was admitted to the hospital again. He was a spitter upper. Having worked in a preschool for several years, I knew babies often spit up. I also knew that my son was spitting up way to much. And not having bowel movements. I had repeatedly taken him into the doctor's office, only to be told that essentially, I was a young, inexperienced mother and that babies spit up. Here, have some Zantac. (This did not come from our pediatrician, but another guy who works with the pediatric group we are with. I refuse to let him treat my kids these days) Yeah, that didn't work. My son was throwing up almost his entire bottle at every feeding. When he finally started having traces of blood mixed in with his spit up, I was told to take him to the ER.

Five very long hours later, and a baby who was sleeping, not showing the slightest signs of being any kind of sick, Thomas suddenly vomited so violently that I grabbed him up and ran to the nurses station down the hall, trailing his spew behind me, I am sure. There was a lot of blood in it this time. They took him from me, laid him on a bed and surrounded him by a lot of large machines and people. He was so white, and I was really feeling the inexperienced mom bit at this point. They got his airways clear and he lay there, barely visible against the sheet he was so pale, then abruptly had another vomiting spasm. I was petrified. They did an ultrasound on him, but it was a weekend (and a wee hour of the day, to boot) and there was no one around who was a pediatric reader of ultrasounds. They sent us home.

Our pediatrician, who I love, called me (in my sleep deprived state, I don't remember when) and told me 'bring him straight back to the hospital. I will have him admitted by the time you get there.' I am sure he must have told me something to explain things, but I don't remember. I just called Joshua, packed a bag, and left. Golly, all I remember for quite some time was how incredibly tired I was. I have no idea how I got us to the hospital. Seriously.

So, we get there, and I still don't remember what all went on. At some point, we were told that Thomas had pyloric stenosis. What, you say? Yeah, so did I. It's a condition in which the valve from the stomach leading into the small intestine, where digestion starts, is overgrown. Meaning it won't allow food to pass through. Well, folks, what goes in must come out. So he vomited. He was getting next to no nutrition, which explained the lack of weight gain and the absent bowel movements. The good news? The fix was simple and sure fire. Someone laughingly said the surgeons almost fight over who gets to do these procedures. It is so simple, though life saving to a child, and the surgeon always gets to be a hero. I didn't laugh. My sense of humor was on hiatus. When we asked why this took so long to discern, it was explained to us that it takes six to ten weeks for the true source to become obvious. I was so thankful to be closer to the six week part than the ten week part. Imagine another month of this!? I would have had a stick figure for a baby.

Thomas was prepped for surgery for the next day, and my inexperienced mom bit came to the fore again. Or maybe just my mom-ness. I was quite scared about sending my tiny baby off to be cut on, regardless of the medical staff's assurances that this was about the simplest surgery ever. Fact was, they were putting my infant under and cutting into his sweet, soft skin. But, the Lord is good. He sent me no small measure of comfort in many different ways. The most tangible being the nurse who came to take my baby away from me was someone I knew. Someone whose daughter was in my wedding, whose house I had been in and out of for several years, someone who had lead me in several Bible studies. Her presence changed everything for me. I wasn't handing my baby off to some stranger, but to a friend. She led us through the surgical unit prep area, showed us how soundly Thomas was sleeping, and gave us a little teddy bear for Thomas that boasted his surgery experience on it's little T-shirt.

We had been sitting in the waiting room for all of about forty five minutes with all the grandparents, my sisters, a couple of our aunts, and our pastor and another gentleman from our church when the doctor came through and told us all was well. They sent us on back up to the room and when they brought Thomas up there a couple hours later, he looked all peaceful. And he was glued together! His incision was about an inch long, and I had been expecting stitches, but no...glue. How funny is that?


It took several months for him to resemble a truly healthy baby. He was so pale for so long and he took his time gaining weight. But when he started gaining, buddy, he was a mighty eater. After the turn of the year, he started really filling out. Then he went on to outweigh his peers. Although he was a little fluffy, he was mostly just strong. He started walking at ten months, and hasn't slowed down since.


Thomas is three now. While his story is not nearly as complicated or as scary as some, it is his. One day, I will probably tear up as I tell him of the scares he put me through as a teensy infant. It is still fresh enough to accelerate my heart rate. You would never know from looking at him that he was ever malnourished for a short time. His little scar is even a point of pride for him, when he remembers it.



We love that little rascally boy, and are so thankful that the Lord sent him to us. He is a very affectionate kid with a very strong will and lots of laughter. I wouldn't trade him for the world, though we will continue to train him in the Lord's ways, trying to create a gentleman from this little boy.

Some Thoughts On Passing

from Joshua

If you know my family or have been following this blog, you are no doubt aware that my father died of cancer on Sunday, August 26, 2007 - two weeks ago today. Had he lived only one more day, he would have celebrated his 75th birthday.

It came as a shock to us all. Dad was no stranger to health problems, but he had not been chronically ill at all. A routine abdominal CT scan for something unrelated found the first signs of cancer in Dad's liver, but more tests to follow told a darker story of metastatic lung cancer that had already spread to his brain, throat, chest cavity, lymph nodes, and other places. From the time he was first diagnosed with cancer until his passing, only 13 days elapsed.

God was incredibly gracious to us during those 13 days. Although Dad had lost much of his physical strength, he remained consistently mentally aware and lucid right up until his last 36 hours or so. Family and friends were able to support, love on, and care for him right up until the end. And the quickness with which the Lord called Dad home spared him the discouragement and frustration of an extended period of debilitating pain or illness. Family and friends now all have holes in their lives where once there was a husband, father, brother, grandfather, uncle, cousin, or friend, but we are all grateful that this much loved man was able to go Home in peace and dignity. Furthermore, we can praise God for the assurance we have of Dad's eternal peace, based on the faith he placed in Jesus Christ.

How am I doing? Well, first of all, I'm incredibly blessed just to have friends who care enough to ask. I wish the answer were as simple as the question!

The most truthful answer is: I'm profoundly affected, in ways that may not be clear even to me for years to come. Perhaps because I've never lost anyone all that close to me, or perhaps just because this was Dad, I've had quite a shift in the way I look at death and eternity. As an only child who is now also the eldest man on my little twig of the family tree, I feel both an increased and a changed sense of responsibility. Because Dad is no longer here to offer help or advice, I feel uniquely "on my own" in a way that is both freeing and frightening. All these things and more, added to the simple fact of Dad's absence, are swirling in my mind like storm clouds on the horizon. I know they're there, but I don't yet know how they'll affect me in the days to come. I suppose I feel a little like a first mate might on a ship whose captain has fallen. Looking out from the bridge, knowing that rough days and beautiful days will continue to come as surely as the sea rolls and the sun rises - but also knowing that each adventure from here on out will be different in a significant way from all those that came before.

Although I'm not done grieving, I can honestly say that I'm at peace. I knew I'd face this one day, and I knew as a late-born child that it would come earlier in life for me than for many of my peers. I was blessed to have a good father with whom I had a good relationship, so I find myself with no guilt over things said or unsaid, and no resentment over old wounds unhealed. I always knew I was loved, knew I was wanted, and knew Dad would drop everything to help me whenever I needed it. We worked together, we played together, we made many good memories together. Most of the practical "stuff" I know came from Dad in one form or another. Dad told me his life's stories, and Dad taught me to love the old songs. I miss Dad, but the memories mostly bring a grin with only a hint of wistfulness. I'm thankful he was my Dad, and I'm proud to keep on as his son. And I'm confident that the grace of my heavenly Father and Lord Jesus Christ, which has been here all along, will continue to be sufficient even as He has promised.

Dad and I on the lake - one of our favorite places.

Me and Dad crashing together, early 1980s.

It's 2004 and Dad has a new Freeman boy (Thomas) to nap with.


Three generations of Freeman men.

Love you, Dad. I'll see you later.

Dad

Alvin C. 'Joe' Freeman
August 27, 1932 - August 26, 2007

The Real Reason People Visit This Blog...

I know that things have been random and sparse lately. But let's face it, life outside of Bloggy-Land happens. I want to say thank you to everyone for your prayers, cards, help, and love during the past few weeks. It is very humbling to find that so many folks really do care about what is going on in another person's life. I mean, really care, and really pray for them. Not just say it and forget the details later. So, thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.

Now, not intending to sound flip at all, here are some pictures of what the kids have been up to. Sweet little beings. =)

Sarah Grace in her 'S' shirt and Thomas in his 'T' shirt that Granny made for them. Oh, how they LOVE these new sleep shirts!!!

Elizabeth peeking out from under the couch, where she managed to roll, scoot, wedge herself. She laughed and played quite nicely. Hmmm...how to market this as a baby toy and make a ga-jillion bux or so...

Mmmm...prunes!!!

Peek-a-boo!

Thomas and Sarah Grace making sure Granny doesn't fall off the end of the slide!

Daddy and Thomas swimming in the lake. My kids need more exposure to swimming...anybody got a pool we can use??

Elizabeth enjoyed sunning on the dock, taste testing the towels for us!

Lots of Littles! Some of the cousins we got to visit with over Labor Day weekend.



More cousins!



Thomas finally getting to utilize his 'toows' that he got for his birthday.



Sarah Grace. Because if Nomas is doing it, she has to as well! (note that she is watching Thomas very carefully so as to mimic which nail she pounds, which finger she pinches, and how loud she screams!)



Toe Jam, anyone?



The kids got to go to the playground with daddy last night. Mommy has been s-i-c-k for two whole days!!! Nice change of pace...for everyone!





Both of them...looking at the camera at the SAME time! Brilliant job, Daddy!